I think I've had a breakthrough. You know, one of those moments of clarity where something that totally baffled you now makes absolute sense. Ever have one of those? As I've been studying for this week's class, I've meditated on the great paradox of the cross, or in the words of Paul "to live is Christ, and to die is gain,". What? Those are the words of a religious nut, a fanatic, right? Quite the opposite. In Philippians 1:21, Paul speaks these powerful words and they ressonate with me. I wish that I could have heard the emotion in his voice when he says a few verses later that he desires to depart to be with Christ. Powerful. And so, I'm confronted with the paradox of my life. Can I say "to live is Christ, and to die is gain,"? I can't quite bring myself to utter the words for fear of what might happen.
And yet, in a way, the words have already begun to work on me. The words of Jesus to "come follow me" and "take up your cross" are whispered in my minds ear. I feel the tug of the Spirit when opportunity comes knocking and I don't shrink away. This is the beginning of embracing the great paradox, to realize that I can "live is Christ, and to die is gain,". I can. And life itself begins to refocus. I begin to realize that my time here is short, that soon I too will depart to be with Christ (only through his labor on the cross). And so I choose, I choose to embrace each opportunity for ministry. I carefully choose my words around friends and coworkers. I try to be more patient and kind when I am confronted with difficulty and cruelty. And, most importantly of all, I pray. I pray. I pray.
And I dream. My dream is probably not much different from your dream. In my dream I am clothed in the radiant white robe reserved for the saints. I am bathed in the light of God's righeous presence. In my dream I am experiencing a happiness that I can't explain, and then I see Jesus. He puts both his nail scarred hands on my shoulders and looks me right in the eye. The smile on his face is reward enough until he speaks. One word......"Come"
Embrace the paradox. Choose to live.
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Hi Jason,
ReplyDeleteI could not agree with you more about Paul's words to live is Christ and to die is gain. I really enjoyed what you had to say this week.
Your Brother in Christ.
The idea of living "is" Christ makes for a difficult conversation. We are so used to referring to the life of the Christian as something we do or that we try to immitate Jesus. When he says to "live IS Christ" makes me think he is thinking of more than just reflecting Christ. Could it be that he is saying that our living as followers of Him is actually allowing Him to live through us? This would make sense with Galatians 2:20 "I've been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ who lives in/through me". What do you think?
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